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Holiday Cranberry Cocktail—PROVOKED Style

 (A drink with standards)

 

This is the cocktail you pour when you’re done pretending you’re fine and ready to actually enjoy the evening. It’s tart, not sweet. Festive, not fussy. And it looks like you tried harder than you did.

What You’ll Need

(Serves 1, scales beautifully, no drama)

  • Vodka
    Use something clean and unflavored. Tito’s works. If you have a local favorite, even better.

  • Real Cranberry Juice
    Not cranberry cocktail. Not “cranberry blend.” If sugar is the first ingredient, put it back.

  • Rosemary Simple Syrup
    Because rosemary says winter, confidence, and I know what I’m doing.
    (Quick version below.)

  • Ice
    Non-negotiable.

  • Garnish (Optional, but persuasive):
    Fresh rosemary sprigs, a few cranberries, maybe a lime wedge if you’re feeling it.

Rosemary Simple Syrup (this makes enough for you and your friends)

(Make it once, feel superior all night)

  • 1 cup water

  • 1 cup sugar

  • 2–3 rosemary sprigs

Simmer everything together for about 10–15 minutes.
Cool. Strain. Refrigerate.
Done. You’re now a person who makes syrup.

How to Make It

(No overthinking required)

  1. Ice first

    2. Fill a sturdy glass with ice. This is not a dainty drink.

  1. Syrup

    2. Add a splash of rosemary simple syrup. Start small—you can always add more.

  1. Cranberry

    2. Pour in cranberry juice until the glass is about three-quarters full.

  1. Vodka

    2. Add vodka to taste. You know your night better than we do.

  1. Club soda

    2. Top with a splash to keep it crisp.

  1. Stir and garnish

    2. Stir well. Add rosemary, cranberries, lime—or don’t. It’s your house.

Making It for a Crowd

(Because you’re not a bartender)

For a pitcher that serves about 8:

  • 2 cups vodka

  • 4 cups cranberry juice

  • ½ cup rosemary simple syrup

Stir together in advance.
Pour over ice.

Top with club soda.
Add garnish.

PROVOKED Notes

  • Chill your glasses if you want to feel smug.

  • This drink is tart by design—adjust sweetness only if you must.

  • When topping with club soda: If the bubbles disappear too fast, you added too little. If it tastes like cranberry soda, you added too much.